The initial fear has subsided,
and I brace myself for the dawn of a new day is shining.
God is good. And though this experience has brought an onslaught of different fears, God is right beside me. And he is lifting me up.

Not gonna front for a minute though, its been hard. This past week my mental storm proved draining - but life is about rebouonds so I'm trying my best to get back down wit tha team. Restoring faith & happiness back in the game.
Stacking applications, taking it one step, one day at a time..Slowing down the hands of father time. Thinking right, Acting right, Eating healthy + gym on the daily is where you'll find me. Taking it as it comes, rebuilding any weakness, thankful for each day I'm given.

“We have a choice. We can try to simply survive – clinging to the hope we will get to the end unscathed – or we can try to thrive, allowing the adventure to grow us in ways we could not have imagined when we began. Clearly, the objective of the adventure of our lives is not simply to survive, but to thrive in it and grow.”

- Larry Wilson, from “Play to Win”

First off, Happy Bday daddy & Biggie (rip) (May 21)
Had a nice fam trip to $D, with a full-blown all city beach tour. It's the small thangs in life that fuel you to achieve the big thangs. Thank you, God!! Yo guess what I got playin right now? Bobby Caldwell "My Flame"..I promise you I been up on this for the last few days, and it makes my heart smile. I really don't know bout y'all but I play to win. LONGEVITY, the timeless classics that you aint ever got to question, because you know its there. (You know its there). And while today turns into tomorrow, and years just melt away? (It's still remains). WHEW! That's what I'm talkin bout, that's what I'm about....

What's up playa, its game time....

p.s. Lakers vs. Nuggets tied 1-1. This Saturday, the whole team gotta step up really..cause Carmelo Anthony aint givin anything for free, I see you babyboy!

i'm above all that

above the bullsht
I say the funk's my only issue...

so earlier today Elainne and I watched a Spike Lee movie "Inside Man" starring Denzel and Jodie. It was one of those intially thrilling suspense "will the bad guy get away with it" flavor of a movie, but soon turned "wait..are they gonna explain what just happened" dramatical rides. We were sippin some Bacardi Mojita, yet my judgement and motor skills were still at a 100, thankss.

Weekend Wrapup:
-HEAT@UCR. Proved my HR/UN capabilites were still intact. Nada loca, though.
-It truly is a daily struggle to manifest your dreams. Stop dreamin, start doing..don't loose your steam/focus/momentum.

"I wanna do my thing so we be established"

Diddy-fluenza

I'm what the streets been missin..

Alotta these cats are team players, but you needa MVP.
You see, "I'ma beautiful btch that just happen to rap"
and if you put me on, I promise its a wrap
like several layers of plastic, to one cover of teflon
all you need is one, to make sure the goods last long
and I know I'm on, some otha sht
but not like Pharcyde's "Otha fish"
moreso Marvin's "Come Get to This" type spit
cause if this verse ever listed you,
it'd be part lyrical bliss, part wishlist
so let me know if this right here, we can establish
I'm tryna put rocks on the ring, whatever you want - you can have it.

pshhhhh..im on that blow'em away tip.
not even the get on my level indecency
but that do you,
be about it,
make it happen,
no limit to this type spit.

It's whatever you want. You can have it.
Thank you God, for the blessings...

I'm happy
so thankful, and Blessed.

Yeah I'm about to clean my room, and can I just say that whoever invented the bass amplifier for speakers, has really helped ya girl out. WOW. Also, late 80's - early 90's hip hop and r&b is a life saver..In addition to funk that came out 70's - present. A lil update: Our trip to LA last Friday opened my eyes to the realization that what's here today can be gone tomorrow, in the blink of an eye -- so don't ever forget even a second that you are blessed, to be living & breathing....

Thank you GOD!
Aint nobody worrying around here, I have faith and hope that things will work themselves out for the better. Obstacles are inevitable, but we will all be okay really.
Also, last night I received quite a few responses from males that I don't really tickle my fancy. I had a conversation with Charissey and a few others about this...they can form their theories about why I make certain decisions - but when it comes down to it, I want someone that is worth everything I've been through. I don't play hard to get, to be honest wit y'all I just am. Don't be so quick to judge, cause you don't know my history. I'm gettin' older, so it means I got less time to act like I got time to waste. No fronts: keep it 100 or keep it moving..Face game not on point? Keep it moving. No Job? Keep it moving. (There are some exceptions, of course) I know what I want, and it comes with a satisfaction guaranteed stamp. So if you wanna fckwitit..LET'S GO!

You know,
sometimes life&love makes you feel like your obsolete...
that's when you need to let mothafckas knw that you recycle

the mind is infinite

welcome to the 7 day work week
my last day off was this past wed, and the next one I have is scheduled for this Thursday. I'm trying to set a financial foundation that will allow me to conduct a thorough ass search for where I want my career to go. I know that where I step next will foreshadow my future...As for the Indian Wells Tennis Tournament, I had the utmost positive experience. I met the event managers, Dickson & Randi, and bonded with my Nike co-workers. Some of us sat front row at the matches, some of us re-stocked merchandise, and some of us cop'd #1 champion Raffa Nadal's autograph (muah!) :). You better believe I will rock that wristband wit a dip in mahh hip and a glide in mahh stride!!

P.S. It was hard to return to the store today, but Nike has a music mix that plays during store hours. With 3 Tribe songs, 1 De La Soul jam, Rapper's Delight, Outkast, AND Slick Rick on the new mix, it made my day so much easier :)

P.S.S. Do you use art to make money, or do you make money through the art?
(I do it from the heart)
Stay True -

I'll wipe my eyes clear,
and rise above this.

thor-ough

1. Exhaustively complete: a thorough search.
2. Painstakingly accurate or careful: thorough research
3. Absolute; utter: a thorough pleasure.

The weekend what can i say about the weekend.................
My babygirls are there for me, and I always try to remind em how much I love em
cause I do get wild I do get wild can I stress that enough?

But when the week starts like Elainne says "You knw I'm bout my business right?"

Vintage Foxy Brown

"Tryin to do my thing y'all, need you on my team
But you aint gon' stop my dream, or block my cream"

this aint no recreation yall
this is pro ball
today i applied for a disc jockey assistant position
and hopefully it falls through
i could sit and listen to music all day
pick apart verses and licks take my top picks
just whatever i like
go vintage fugees on yall, askin "how many mics?"
dig through soulful ballads on how a man should treat a lady
got Dennis Edwards on the system, pleading "Give it to me baby!" ahaha

Days off

Catch me offguard, and allow me to reset the pace
Stepping it up in more ways than one
I told one of ma homegirls many a time ago,
the only thing I chase is paper and dreams

Never need a man for nothing,
'cept some of that good lovin'..hha.

Mr. Charles Barkley

Me: "Hello how you doin sir?"
Barkley: "Good, how you doin baby?"
Me: "Baby, I'm better now!"

haha. Tell me why I had no problem dropping shoeboxes and migrating to mens apparel to step up the customer service/ spit game when Mr. Charles Barkley himself make an impromptu visit the NIKE Store. Had me searching in S&R, trying to find "3XL Workout" gear that did not exist, and pointed out the fact that we did not carry size 16 basketball shoes.
Too bad I didn't wear my Air Force 1 Barkley's, it would have been a good look!
So I did the next best thing, grabbed an empty baby shoe box, and holla'd for an autograph instead...:)

P.S. Where was D.Wade Though? lol

"I like red, and I'm on that Ay Caramba tip.."

Triple header weekend in the works, major city paintin' forecast.
comprende mi amor?

Vamos A bailar Papii

P.S.
Today I returned Roscoe to David cause Mami was not in agreement to the furry little qtee. It was different having a puppy, cause I always wanted one..but I had agree that after the 4th piss/poo that maybe he did have to return to the rightful owner. haha.
Cute though.

oh word?

i need to find a new blog layout that allows me to write more
i feel editorial pressure in terms of blog length
which doesn't allow the full colors of my emotion to shine through

anyway: update
1. We moved to Basil Court
2. I need the Jordan Retro 1 A Tribe Called Quest in my life
3. The economy sucks

According to chief U.S. economist at MFR, “Consumers are rational...they respond to incentives and conditions, and right now the conditions and incentives are: spend as little as you can, and pay down as much as you can. You hunker down. That’s what the consumer’s doing.” New initiative: Don't look at any new shoes esp Jordan releases until a) get a second job b) get $$$ right

Kevin Garnett
Take Which NBA player are you? today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Personality Test Generator.

best relationships for

love: Taurus 3, Leo 1, Leo-Virgo Cust, Virgo 1, Virgo-Libra Cust, Libra 1, Libra-Scorpio Cust, Capricorn 3
marriage: Gem 1, Cancer 2, Leo 3, Virgo 1, Libra 3, Scorpio 3, Capricorn 1, Aquarius 3, Pisces 3
work: Cancer 3, Leo 2, Virgo 2, Libra 2, Scorpio 2, Sag 1, Aqu Pisc Cust
friendship: Pisc Aries Cust, Aries Taur Cust, Gem 3, Canc Leo Cust, Leo 2, Sag 3, Cap 2, Aquar 1, Pisc 1

Compromise

I've said this before, but the majority of our 'problems' are trivial, and often self-inflicted. Perspective is everything; often glancing outside our current circumstance allows us to view the greater picture and realize what it is we can & cannot control.

How many times must we compromise to achieve a desired result?

How many times must we question our inner beliefs and compromise in order to align with a different idea?

Slow eruption
of struggle that escapes my lungs
as I gasp for free air
having an affair with conflict
yet maintaining full value of self is a prospect
respect intellect
dismiss the stigma
the mystery of life remains an enigma

"ayoo
you ever run across that special person, where its like
wow thats the one
no questions, no second guessing
no reservations

where, when you see that person..YOU KNOW"

i would love to crushh right now

Last night I went to Sevillas for the good ole rotiation of old school hip hop, bboys, and homegirls. Finally decided to come through before 10 (free), and 3 dolla drinks - it was a good look. Um security tried to kick me out 4 letting ma fren mike take a sip of beer (eyes were lurking in tha dark), but I was the bigger boss, turned my stussy shirt inside out, took of the gold earrings and gray vest - and was granted re-admission. ma fren mike was not so lucky...

Anyway I came up on this old jem, it went something like this -

Good dudes - I know you love me like cooked food
Even though a nigga got move like a crook move
We was together on the block since we lunch
We shoulda been together havin 4 Seasons brunch
We used to use umbrellas to face the bad weather
So now we travel first class to change the forecast
Never in bunches, just me and you

I loved your point of view cause you held no punches

im tired

..of your weak ass sht

it aint safe no mo

ha, work is gettin unruly in the sense that you never quite know when your going HOME. depending how busy traffic is, or how on point we are wit budget, your ass can go home any second, especially wit the overstaffed schedules for the upcoming days.


? some bs

Quality Control

I'm thorough in every boro my name be ringin
Warmin it up for the perfect time to hit your brain and

Ya Feeln' it?
Listen..I'm gettin' older so I got less time to act like I got time to waste,
I hope you fools listen cause I drop JeWeLs, bust it
Baby I been around the world, and I'm not that type of girl
but if you act righteous, I might just
let you spend the night and
tuck me in real tight and
we watch the fight w PacMan
I got the type of .. that make a ni*a speech-
less

Honestly, at this point in my life its the quality > quantity - GOT TO BE!
(You and me, beautifully fit)
(Your like a reflection, better half to my whole)
(Like lyrics to the beat, you the mate for mahhh soul)

I seek the greater data,
stay firing& re-hiring til I find the right player who hold them keysss yo.

My babygirls know its nothing (Mama C & Choco)
and we be paintin the town REDD every other day on the weekends, nolie.
and I did some thangs I would rather 4get, with babygirls ill never 4get.
and I don't regret a single thang
and I'm countin the blessings
and I'm packing the weapons

and I'm steady aimin, steady buildin

BTW, i'm on total AY CARAMBA tip w the Messican, Puerto Rican, Cuban, & Peruvian daddys lol.
Repeat -- THAT AY CARUMBA* TIP haha